NEW DEVELOPMENTS IN THE TURBO ENCABULATOR

Professor, Industrial & Manufacturing Engineering
Department, College of Engineering  and Allied Sciences,
Kalamazoo, Michigan 49008-5061, and, by Glenn D. Hall, Technical
Support Manager, College of Engineering and Applied Sciences,
Western Michigan University, Kalamazoo, Michigan.

For a number of years now, work has been proceeding in order to
bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a transmission
that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in
unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of
automatically synchronizing cardinal gram meters. Such an
instrument is the turbo encabulator. Now basically, the only new
principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the
relative motion of conductors and fluxes, it is produced by the
medial interaction of magneto reluctance and capacitive duractance.
The original machine had a base plate of perambulated amulite
surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the
two sperving bearings were in a direct line with the pan metric
fam. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic mozel veins sol
fitted to the ambifacient lunar wane shaft that side fumbling was
effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal
lotus-o-delta type place in panendermic semi-bolloid slots of the
stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a non-reversible
trammy pipe to the differential girdle spring on the up end of the
Grammies.

The turbo encabulator has now reached a high level of
development and it’s being successfully used in the operation
of nover trunions. Moreover, whenever a fourescent score motion is
required, it may also be used in conjunction with a drawn
reciprocation dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal repleneration.

Our conclusions are calculated with micrometric precision from
vague assumptions which were based on debatable figures, taken from
inconclusive experiments, carried out with instruments of
problematical accuracy by persons of doubtful reliability and
questionable mentality, for the avowed purpose of annoying and
confounding a hopelessly chimerical group of practical and
mechanically minded and experienced individuals who are referred to
frequently as our friends and colleagues, the readers of this
magazine.

A Note From The Author

For as long as I can remember, your  organization has
provided a free subscription to the Western Michigan University
College of Engineering. For this we are indeed grateful. I am aware
of at least two other paid subscriptions, one of which is Mr. Glenn
Hall, the co-author of this submission.

Although Mr. Hall is the proud owner of a Case steam tractor,
two road graders and a McCormick reaper, neither one of us has ever
been a contributor to either of your fine publications. It’s
time for us to repay your generosity.

As engineers we are oftentimes caught up in a vocabulary which
causes us to lose an important message while we babble in
‘techie talk.’

Hopefully your readers will enjoy our extemporaneous verbal
evaporation and expatiations. We sedulously attempted to avoid all
polysyllabic profundity, pompous propensity, psittaceous vacuity,
ventriloquial verbosity and vaniloquent vapidity.

This article is in fun. The turbo encabulator points out just as
the preceding paragraph does that keeping words simple, clear and
to the point takes far more skill than writing esoteric
cogitations.