Gas Engine DISEASE

By Staff
Published on March 1, 1983

4365 Woodlane Drive, Woodbury, Minnesota 55125

Are you infected? There are estimates placing from five to one
hundred percent of gas engine collectors on the sick list. Is this
good or bad? Well, it depends if you are a ‘flywheeler’ or
not. Ninety percent of ‘flywheelers’ don’t believe they
are struck down with the illness, while about ninety-five percent
of friends, spouses, neighbors, and children of gas engine
enthusiasts would bet their life savings on their relation having
this unique illness. Generally speaking, Gas Engine Disease
(GED)
usually has no fatal symptoms. It can strike almost
anyone from age two to one hundred and two, in as quick as one day
or as long as several decades. Personally, I would estimate about
15,739 cases in the United States alone. This disease is very much
like alcoholism in that once you get it, you can only arrest it.
There is not yet any known cure. GED had reached epidemic standards
in the past several years. There have been many theories as to why.
One is that people are finally realizing how much fun they can have
with their little ‘put-puts’. Another is the joy people get
out of attending swap meets, shows, auctions, and reunions, has
spread the bug rapidly. Some believe it is the state of our
economy. Others think it is because there is a greater population
today than several years ago. Whatever the reason, GED is with us,
and it is not going to go away, ever.

Listed is a series of questions. Answer each of them correctly
and honestly to determine if you have been struck with Gas
Engine Disease:

1. Do you own five or more gas engines?

2. Did you attend more than two shows last year?

3. Have you spent more than $500 on engines or related
items?

4. Has the gas engine hobby caused you to drive over 400 miles
during any single years?

5. Have you spent more than thirty hours on this hobby?

6. Do you spend more time with your engines than your
spouse?

7. Are you always waiting for GEM to come in the mail?

8. Have you ever bought an engine you thought you wanted but
when you got it home you wished you hadn’t bought it?

9. Have you put your engines ahead of friends and dear ones?

10. Are you disgusted with this article?

If you have answered YES to three or more of
these questions, you have GED. If you answered
YES to eight or more, you have a severe case.

Now that most of you have diagnosed yourselves as having
GED we will get back to the question of ‘Is it
good or bad?’. Well, I must admit, evidence for
GOOD far outweighs evidence for
BAD. So, if you think you have this strange
disease, think of it as a positive characteristic!

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