THE WONDERFUL OTTAWA DRAG SAW


| July/August 1978



Sanders and I

My friend, Sanders and I. Sanders was just as excited over the Ottawa as I was

P.O. Box 148, 30 Military Drive, Chatham, Virginia 24531

It's me again, Maury Moses, the hill-billy gas nut with the grasshopper mind and the crack-pot ideas down here in the hills of southern Virginia. It's been some time now since I contacted the G.E.M. readers with one of my literary gems (July-August 1976), so I thought I'd drop a few lines to renew old acquaintances and say Happy New Year and so forth to everybody and tell about my favorite antique possession, the wonderful Ottawa drag saw.

I'm still enjoying the Gas Engine Magazine because it's about machines and I've always admired machines because they are the clever inventions of bright minds. I always wished I'd had a bright mind and could invent things like smart people do, but the Good Lord just didn't see fit to make everybody equal, in spite of what the Supreme Court said, so I just have to be contented with my lot.

Come to think about it, though, I did invent something one time -a perpetual motion machine-and it was a good machine, too. I took a lot of time and patience in thinking it out and building it, and so forth and used the very best materials. I believe I could have gotten a patent on it too, but it had just one little flaw. It wouldn't stay in motion. It was habitually stopping after I'd give it a start. So I finally renamed it the 'Perpetually Motionless Machine.' It's one of the best of its kind here in Pittsylvania County and I am real proud of it. I got it setting over here in the corner where I can see it every day and it really lives up to its new name. All I've got to do now is find a use for it!

Speaking of perpetual motion, the only really successful machine of this type down here in this neck of the woods belongs to a woman in the village. But she didn't invent it, she was born with it. It's her mouth. Her husband says it is really and truly perpetual too; says she talks in her sleep also. She's a woman's libber and she keeps her perpetch machine pretty busy promoting that subject-the times she's not doing her shift on the cocoanut wireless. They say perpetual motion is the dream of every inventor, but take my word for it, some perpetual things have definitely got their drawbacks?

Well for the main subjects of my little discussion here, I've got two things on my mind I'd like to gas about a little bit. One is the wonderful Ottawa Log & Tree Saw and the other is a subject which has caused me some concern here lately; but in case I run out of time and money before I get both items covered, I'll take up the pleasant subject first, the Ottawa. To make my story come out right, I'll have to go back and give a little historical background.