Time Warp Occurs At Batsto!


| July/August 1995



8 HP 1910 Simplicity hit 'n miss

Fish Scull and Les Raines with an 8 HP 1910 Simplicity hit 'n miss.

130 Serpentine Drive, Bayville, New Jersey 08721

Visitors and exhibitors who participated in the Country Living Fair at Batsto State Park last October were witness to a most unusual phenomenon Time Travel! What follows is an actual eyewitness account.

It all started when Bill Hyers, past president of the Pinelands Gas Engine Association, pulled into the show area bright and early that Sunday morning. Bill always has something new and unusual to display each year, so we were not surprised to see a new contraption on his trailer. As we helped him unload this gizmo we could not imagine what it was. I can only describe it as big and shiny with two seats and with a lot of important looking levers, dials, bells, and whistles. Not wanting to reveal our ignorance, we kept our ponderings to ourselves, but finally curiosity got the best of us and we asked Bill what it was. He replied that it was the world's first successful time machine and that he was going to demonstrate time travel to the public.

They wheeled the First-Aid vehicles into the park about 10 minutes later, because two of our group complained about chest pains from laughing so hard. Of course, we cannot be blamed for laughing, because everyone knows that your common garden variety time machine requires a very large power source such as a lightning storm, gamma rays, or a nuclear power reactor. Bill's time machine, however, was belted up to a 2 HP 1912 Snort & Wheezer that looked to be in questionable mechanical condition. Poor Bill took a lot of ribbing for the next few minutes but insisted that it was a genuine time machine and that he had been secretly taking about one trip a week in it for the past year.

At this point opinion concerning Bill's sanity was pretty evenly split among those present. Defenders said that his time travel theory was plausible, because how else could one explain his amazing collection of antique engines and toy trucks? He must have 'gone back to get 'em'! Detractors said that all those years Bill spent running an auto body business had taken their toll and he had fallen victim to 'lacquer thinner burnout.'

By now Bill was red faced and determined to convert us all into believers, and so he set about to starting the time machine. He made a few adjustments and began to crank her over. Bill spent the next half hour with a crowd around him trying to 'raise the dead,' but no matter what he tried, that engine wouldn't start. At this point we offered our help, because there wasn't a man among us who didn't want to see Bill disappear in a puff of smoke.