Professor, Industrial & Manufacturing Engineering Department, College of Engineering and Allied Sciences, Kalamazoo, Michigan 49008-5061, and, by Glenn D. Hall, Technical Support Manager, College of Engineering and Applied Sciences, Western Michigan University, Kalamazoo, Michigan.
For a number of years now, work has been proceeding in order to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a transmission that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal gram meters. Such an instrument is the turbo encabulator. Now basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, it is produced by the medial interaction of magneto reluctance and capacitive duractance. The original machine had a base plate of perambulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two sperving bearings were in a direct line with the pan metric fam. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic mozel veins sol fitted to the ambifacient lunar wane shaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus-o-delta type place in panendermic semi-bolloid slots of the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a non-reversible trammy pipe to the differential girdle spring on the up end of the Grammies.
B6: TRAMMY PIPE
H1: DINGLE ARM
D2: GIRDLE SPRING HOUSING
H2: PANOMETRIC FAM
G1: MOZEL VEINS
J: LUNAR WANE SHAFT
G3: SPERVING BEARING
The turbo encabulator has now reached a high level of development and it's being successfully used in the operation of nover trunions. Moreover, whenever a fourescent score motion is required, it may also be used in conjunction with a drawn reciprocation dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal repleneration.
Our conclusions are calculated with micrometric precision from vague assumptions which were based on debatable figures, taken from inconclusive experiments, carried out with instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of doubtful reliability and questionable mentality, for the avowed purpose of annoying and confounding a hopelessly chimerical group of practical and mechanically minded and experienced individuals who are referred to frequently as our friends and colleagues, the readers of this magazine.
For as long as I can remember, your organization has provided a free subscription to the Western Michigan University College of Engineering. For this we are indeed grateful. I am aware of at least two other paid subscriptions, one of which is Mr. Glenn Hall, the co-author of this submission.
Although Mr. Hall is the proud owner of a Case steam tractor, two road graders and a McCormick reaper, neither one of us has ever been a contributor to either of your fine publications. It's time for us to repay your generosity.
As engineers we are oftentimes caught up in a vocabulary which causes us to lose an important message while we babble in 'techie talk.'
Hopefully your readers will enjoy our extemporaneous verbal evaporation and expatiations. We sedulously attempted to avoid all polysyllabic profundity, pompous propensity, psittaceous vacuity, ventriloquial verbosity and vaniloquent vapidity.
This article is in fun. The turbo encabulator points out just as the preceding paragraph does that keeping words simple, clear and to the point takes far more skill than writing esoteric cogitations.