Engine Addiction Crisis

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It has recently come to my attention that a new addiction seems to be increasing and causing untold crises in the American family. This addiction, as with many others, is supported by a family which enables the addiction. As a 'public service', I would like to list below the warning signs for the addiction and signs that a family may be aiding or enabling the victim. The addiction, as you may have guessed as a reader of this magazine, is Gas Engin-holism.


You told your family that the engine you bought is the last one you will buy-for the third time.

You start hanging around with people who use a different language such as Foos, magneto, flywheel, etc.

You begin to dream of vacationing in exotic places like Portland, Indiana rather than Hawaii.

Your favorite colors are red and green (and it's not even Christmas).

You can vocally imitate at least three different engines.

You begin choosing your friends by their initial reaction to your engine collection.

There is no one who has met you that doesn't know you own an old engine.

You talk to your engines.

You think they hear you.

You get teary-eyed when you read stories of people who scrapped-out an old engine.

You find yourself looking for flywheels in every field you pass by and you are especially attracted to barns surrounded by large piles of junk.


They tell you they bought their last engine, and you believe it.

You find Brasso on your shopping list frequently and you buy it.

You buy them presents which have engine logos on them.

You hear your husband say 'goodnight sweetheart' as he leaves the garage and you know there is not another woman.

You hear the names Simplicity and Detroit and you no longer think of sewing patterns or a city in Michigan.

You no longer ask if there will be a flea market when your husband asks you to go to an engine show with him.

You and your children wear tennis shoes at all times so if you hear an engine start you can run out and see it before it stops.

 You write an article for a gas engine publication!